Father (to be) Finally

Here I am at 40 years of age, and finally finding myself as a father to be; a dream I had given up on many years ago until a series of events led me to my amazing wife, and our new and wonderful life together.

After a lost pregnancy a little more than a year ago, and trouble conceiving again after, we had chosen to move on and I again had found myself giving up on the prospect of having a child of my own. To our surprise it was within a couple weeks of the decision to move on that we took the test that both surprised and thrilled me at the same time. A joy that can not be described in words no matter how hard I would try.

Already having two high school aged children of her own (both who are great and who I love as my own), ever closer to adulthood and making their own way out into the world, I am ever inspired by her want and willingness to virtually 'start over' as people have said and bring a new child into this world with me. One of our flesh and of our blood, carrying on the bloodline of my father and my father's father; a bloodline that seemed as though it may possibly be severed at this generation of me and my brothers.

There of course was some worry early on given our previous pregnancy's outcome, and a difficulty during one appointment finding the heartbeat of our child. We however were able to see a healthy and bouncing baby, as well as a very strong heartbeat. Now at a little over 15 weeks we have finally reached the point where most of the danger is behind us. We are able to share the joyous news with one and all and begin the genuine preparation for all that is to come.

This is my outlet to write about what I feel and what I encounter on this new journey and chapter in my life. Thank you to anyone who decides to read these words and share in the process with me in some way.

Do not read too much into the beginning baby blue template of this blog. It is still five weeks until we will find out the sex of our new child. That being said, I leaned this direction because at this point we both have the gut feeling that we will be having a son. This is yet to be seen, but I will be just as happy and have every bit as much love to give either way. I look forward to finding out however, because it will make shopping so much easier for us and others.

Our Kellybean is coming! I longingly await the day I am able to hold our little one in my arms, yet am enjoying each day and each moment up to that point, knowing this is my one time to experience it all. I do not wish it to be gone too soon, yet the wait to gaze upon the face of our child sometimes seems unbearable. It is a precarious balancing act that I am so blessed to be in the middle of.

~Father Finally